Last Updated on August 9, 2024 by Paola Castillo

Have you ever tried to get to know your sex language? Most people have heard the term “love languages.” They essentially describe how you prefer to be loved. For example, some people fester on words of affirmation, such as compliments and being told they’re loved. In contrast, others prefer quality time with their loved ones and significant other over anything else. Exploring your sexual preferences can be just as important for a fulfilling relationship. Discovering how to get better at sex by understanding each other’s desires can deepen your connection and lead to a more satisfying intimate experience.

While knowing your love language is critical to a healthy emotional relationship or romantic relationship, another aspect you should focus on is your sex language, even for the sake of your emotional relationship.

Wait, what? Yes, you read that correctly. Now, not only do you need to know your love language for romantic relationships but your sex language, too. Knowing your sex language can mean all the difference between a roaring good time between the sheets and not feeling fulfilled in this critical area of life, which is sexual relationships.

 

How to Get Better at Sex

What is a Sex Language?

How to Get Better at Sex
Find your unique sex language!

Your sex language essentially describes how you like to be “spoken” to in the bedroom. If you’re looking to enhance your experience, understanding your partner’s preferences and communicating openly about your own can contribute to a more satisfying sexual connection. Of course, everyone knows there won’t be too much speaking involved in the traditional sense. That’s more of a play on words that will increase your sexual desire and how much you enjoy your sexual time. If you’re seeking ways to improve your overall sexual experience, exploring and understanding how to get better at sex can be a valuable aspect of building intimacy and connection in your relationship.

Why is Knowing Your Sex Language Important?

How to Get Better at Sex
Discover the power of your sex language!

Knowing your sex language can help you to feel more fulfilled and satisfied when it comes to that period of so-called “playtime”. If you’re looking to enhance your sexual experiences, understanding your preferences is crucial. Learning how to get better at sex and exploring what turns you on can make you more readily available to reach the big “O.”

Not only that, but knowing your sex language means that you can describe your wants, needs, and desires to your sexual partner, thereby taking your sexual adventures to the next level. Communication and openness about your desires contribute to a more satisfying sexual connection.

What Are the Five Sex Languages?

How to Get Better at Sex
Exploring the 5 sex languages!

Just like love languages, there are five types of sex languages, each with its distinct focus. If you’re interested in deepening your sexual connection and experiences, it can be beneficial to explore and understand these different sex languages. Whether one prefers “vanilla” sexual contact or another is drawn to spontaneity and taboo sexual experiences, learning about these preferences can contribute to a more satisfying sexual relationship.

If you’re seeking ways to further enhance your sexual experiences and connection with your partner, consider delving into resources on how to get better at sex. This exploration can provide valuable insights into the intricacies of each sex language and help you navigate and fulfill each other’s desires. The five sex languages include sensual, energetic, sexual, kinky, and shapeshifter.

Get to Know Your Sex Language in Five Steps

Just like love languages, there are five different types of languages of sex. How can you know which one you are? Do some impartial investigation and check out these five tips for future reference.

Do You Like to Use All Five Senses During Sex?

How to Get Better at Sex
Are you fully engaging your senses in the bedroom?

The first type of sex language is the sensual love language. This individual focuses on using all five senses before, during, and after playtime. If you’re curious about how to get better at sex and enhance your sensual experiences, consider incorporating elements that appeal to each sense. For example, bringing chocolate-covered strawberries and whipped cream into the bedroom for foreplay or setting the ambiance with candles and music for the entire “show” can evoke emotional and sexual attraction.

To understand your sex language better, ask yourself a vital question: Do you like to bring items into the bedroom before the phase of sex? If so, you may identify with the sensual type. Exploring ways how to get better at sex can involve experimenting with different sensory elements. Don’t hesitate to bring things into the bedroom that enhance the senses.

However, it’s essential not to be too focused on the details. Sometimes, trying to overload every sense can pose a challenge that makes sex seem overwhelming. Keep it simple, have fun, and consider focusing on indulging in a single sense at a time to enhance your overall sexual experiences.

Are You Adventurous in the Bedroom?

How to Get Better at Sex
Do you enjoy exploring new horizons between the sheets?

The next type is the energetic lover. If you’re interested in improving your experiences with this adventurous lover, understanding their energetic sex language is essential. This lover is keen on having adventurous encounters, such as wanting to take their partner behind the park bush for the thrill of sexual attraction. They may also get excited during a dinner date, eagerly anticipating what will happen between the sheets by the end of the night, thrilled by that romantic desire.

If you’re seeking ways how to get better at sex, consider exploring and embracing the vibrance, excitement, and spontaneity that characterize the energetic sex language. However, it’s important for this type of lover to occasionally pull in the reins. Being overly excited can be overwhelming and may lead your current partner astray from your ultimate goal of a satisfying and fulfilling sexual connection.

Do You Consider Yourself Vanilla?

How to Get Better at Sex
Are you embracing your inner flavor?

Some people prefer to stick to the “basics.” If you’re curious about how to get better at sex and want to explore beyond the basics, understanding your sexual type can be a valuable step. That is, they enjoy looking at their partner’s naked body, watching porn, using toys, or making love using the same three positions. While some people call this vanilla, others simply call it their sex language – the sexual type.

The sexual type isn’t “boring,” although someone with an energetic sex language may deem it as such. But, in all reality, the “sexual type” is more focused on the visuals and the basics of bedroom pleasure and sexual attraction. If you’re interested in enhancing your sexual experiences, consider branching out and incorporating new elements into your intimate moments. This exploration can add spice and variety to your sex life.

If you find yourself gearing towards the “normal” standards of lovemaking and pleasure, you may be the sexual type. Don’t feel bad about it – but try to expand your mind now and then, especially if you’re dealing with attraction to people with a different kind of sex language. Exploring different aspects of intimacy and learning how to get better at sex can contribute to a more fulfilling and well-rounded sexual connection.

Or, Do You Enjoy the Taboo Lifestyle?

How to Get Better at Sex
Is the forbidden lifestyle your true passion?

What has long been referred to as “taboo” is just another type of sex language known as the kinky love language. If you’re intrigued by the world of kinks and want to understand how to get better at sex within this realm, exploring the kinky sex language can provide new perspectives and experiences. Unlike the sexual kind, the kinky type prefers to step out of the box and engage in entirely risqué activities.

Now, there are two ways to refer to the kinky sex language. For one, the individual may like to take things to the max with toys, including items like blindfolds, whips, bondage, and other BDSM-type items. Learning how to incorporate these elements safely and consensually can contribute to a fulfilling and satisfying sex life. If you’re seeking guidance on how to get better at sex within the context of kink, there are resources available to help navigate these experiences. They enjoy taking their senses further than just sexual attraction, even if it means a little pain may be involved.

Secondly, they may enjoy the mind game, delving into psychological aspects of BDSM relationships where one person is the sub, and the other is the dom or master. If you’re interested in exploring such dynamics, understanding the importance of consensual play is crucial.

While there is nothing wrong with this type of sex language, keeping your feelings afloat is essential if you have an attraction to people with this type of sex language. That’s because some individuals with kinky sex languages can feel guilty or ashamed of their sexual acts. As long as everything is done safely and consensually, you shouldn’t feel guilty about a sex life focused on the “taboo.” If you’re interested in broadening your sexual horizons within the realm of kinks, seeking guidance on how to get better at sex in this context can be valuable.

Can You Fit Into All of These Categories?

How to Get Better at Sex
Can you identify with them all?

You might read through this list and think, “Yup, that’s me.” If you’re curious about exploring your sexual preferences further and discovering how to get better at sex, understanding your sex language is a crucial step. You might enjoy spontaneity and being kinky at times, while at other times, you appreciate subtle sexual contact – you know, like the missionary position and saying “I love you” during intercourse.

At this point, you might wonder, “How can I get to know my sex language if I fit into two or more categories?” If you’re navigating the complexities of multiple preferences, learning how to get better at sex within each category can contribute to a more fulfilling sex life.

There’s a name for those who can shift in and out of several categories. The name? Shapeshifter. If you find yourself embodying different aspects of various sex languages depending on your mood, understanding the shapeshifter sex language can provide insights into your versatile desires.

No, that’s not a cool name from a Harry Potter book. It is simply referring to someone who can “shift” into different types of sex languages because their sexual attraction also changes depending on their mood. If you’re a shapeshifter, you might find that your sexual preferences vary, allowing you to explore a range of experiences and connections.

A shapeshift sex language is excellent as you can indulge in relationships with similar individuals. On the other hand, it can be a significant con. That’s because you have so many options for feeling satisfied; it may work against you, leaving you unsatisfied and searching for the ultimate “sexual prize.” If you’re navigating the challenges of being a shapeshifter and seeking ways how to get better at sex within this context, it’s essential to communicate openly with your partners and explore what brings satisfaction in each moment.

Final Worlds…

Now that you know the five sex languages, you can better understand who you are and what is your sexual attraction. Utilizing this knowledge is a crucial step in discovering how to get better at sex. Use this information to create some of the most wonderful sexual experiences between you and your partner (or even alone!).

Do you prefer spontaneity or basic sexual contact? Are you inclined towards a kinky lifestyle, or do you enjoy engaging all five senses in the bedroom?

Get to know your sex language, and you may even find your romantic orientation, understanding what your sexual attractions are and the kind of attraction you have towards people. If you’re seeking ways how to get better at sex within the context of your identified sex language, there are various resources available to explore and enhance your intimate experiences.

How can I be a better sex partner?

– Choose the appropriate moment to speak.
– Refrain from criticizing.
– Tell your lover about the changes you’ve noticed in your physique.
– Be truthful.
– Learn for yourself.
– Allow yourself some time.
– Apply lubricant.

How to get better at sex as a female?

Become familiar with your own body. Utilizing a hand mirror, examine your vulva. Study the art of masturbating to get orgasms. You can have more satisfying partner sex if you have greater body awareness.

What are the 5 types of sex language?

Fun, desire, pleasure, patience, and acceptance/celebration are the five sex languages. Dr. Weiss then moves on to discuss obstacles, asking for sex, taking responsibility, consenting, “ingredients,” and the phases of sex, as well as how to apply the five sex languages to the phases.

What are the 5 sex languages in Goop?

The Erotic Blueprint, created by Jaiya, is an arousal map that reveals your unique erotic language, whether it be sensual, sexual, kinky, energetic, or shapeshifter. She demonstrates how we can learn our languages, comprehend those of our partners, and utilize this information as a guide to embrace and realize our wishes.

What does it mean by sex language?

Our early development of an ‘erotic blueprint’ forms the foundation of our sex language. This varies during our lives in response to our sexual encounters. Although some are simpler to work with and have a better time than others, there are no “right” or “wrong” sex languages.

Remember for our fellow Latinx readers, if you are also looking for more relevant content in Spanish please visit our Spanish site at ellatendencias.com.

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Meet Kourtney, a writer specializing in sex and relationships. Known for her honest and insightful approach, she explores themes of intimacy and personal growth. Her work combines personal anecdotes, expert opinions, and practical advice, helping readers navigate the complexities of modern relationships and embrace their desires. Kourtney's writing serves as a guide for those seeking authentic and fulfilling connections.